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Bonjour, Paris !

How has the heatwave been treating you in my absence? I’ve been wearing no more than bikinis when on the boat and around the pier in Chelsea, and I’ve been taking myself out to the local museums in the afternoon when ‘unbearable’ stops being sufficient to describe the temperature at home. I go there to appreciate the cooler rooms; arts can wait to be appreciated – a flawed premise, for sure, mais c’est comme ça for now.

My sleeping pattern has been ruined for the last couple of days, though I would not be so quick to blame the French young girls I rescued – Friday night – from the streets of London after being scammed by a booking website (bearing the same name) twice in one day (as if we needed more reasons to boycott these mofos), who have been keeping me up until four in the morning. Instead, can we blame the heat or my restless mind for wanting to get up before seven and doing things until the body shut down, almost involuntarily, in the middle of reading or watching something, in the afternoon when I should have been taking myself out to a local museum yesterday?

I kept waking up and falling asleep and before dark I finally got up feeling ever so sluggish. My evening plan to go to the cinema cancelled itself – whatever that means; a friend’s invitation to watch the match in Soho remained unanswered. In any case, I was busy sitting in the kitchen, clearing up my cloud storage and staring at the sky and the water through the widely-opened back door on the deck, intently. If only to find out if I should go outside to push shut the skylight door above the wide living room downstairs, if only to figure out how I was feeling in the moment.

From the way I’ve been describing things you could probably tell I’m feeling light. Things have been heating up steadily beyond the physical temperature and I’m feeling unusually light and calm, as opposed to feeling overwhelmed and anxious – or am I just drowsy? That too, but that’s beside the point. Is it? Ah, I’m feeling light about that too, let’s not argue.

In fact, it’s been impossible to argue these days. Turns out it’s difficult to squeeze out an argument when every party communicates willingly and consistently, with openness and clarity follow steadily. Not that I wish to argue – no. What I always wish is an understanding, reassuring balance between freedom and care resulting in trust. And trust is sexy! Hah! You have no idea what, ou bien whom, I’m talking about, do you, Paris? Worry not, it doesn’t feel threatening to me, for now anyway, so shouldn’t be threatening to you.

In fact, the only threat posed has been to my online scrabble leaderboard, with someone getting good at accumulating points, using nonsensical words at that! That, and these last-minute after-work events. Oh well, as usual, nonsensical things are the biggest gainers in our world.

I’ve been feeling light and reassured – my trust in myself playing a big part, I haven’t had time to question the ideologies and if they are aligned – alright, maybe I shouldn’t trust myself that much. Is this how capitalism creeps into our lives? No, capitalism fills us with anxiety and insecurity that motivate us blindly. This is something else – a religion? No, religions also fill us with anxiety and insecurity that motivate us blindly.

This isn’t a hierarchical thing, I think. This is a heterarchical thing, where things are equal. More than that, it feels reciprocal. Equal things can still be challenged, as we could be equally bad. Impossible; I’m good – no, I’m the best, actually. Oh, you must be completely lost by now, Paris; I digress – no, I expand, actually. Like my inner world and, as an effect, my outer world when I’m feeling light and reassured, when I’m calm and relaxed, even in the heat of things. Like when I’m by your river Seine.

The sun is hidden behind the clouds above the Thames at the moment, but from my heart the light is hidden by neither time nor space, almost like when it comes to you and me, Paris. There’s no other way; joy is imminent.

londres, le 28 juin 2026

à jeudi et je t’embrasse !

d.o.