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Bonjour Paris,

I’m not feeling inspired to write to you. Doesn’t sound like me, who adores communication, but some things are exhausting me and you have been nowhere in sight for a while, even energetically. Out of sight, out of mind – but are you out of my heart? Ah, my heart is so soft and malleable, especially with the accelerated lettings-go of so many recently, it couldn’t care less. My mind is the boss, anyway, with its intuitive calculation; my body listens to it, my heart ought to trust it.

Some things are exhausting me and intensity is not one of them. On the contrary, a healthy level of intensity is bound to perk me up, so bloody bring it on! Cowardice exhausts me; injustice, half-measure, pessimism, self-pity, betrayal, dishonesty, your home décor – sorry, I got carried away, Sunday afternoon (ask me about it another time) and the way you romance these days exhaust me.

Don’t get me wrong – urgh you can get me wrong; I’m used to it. Let me tell you, anyway: things are going well. I’ve been writing and reading poetry and things have been lively with my Irish boat bestie and his Rosie on or off the pier. My daughter’s holidaying in Japan and my son’s got his first dream job. I’m healthy despite the occasional cigarettes and heartbreaks – let’s not go there! Hey, why not? Heartbreaks mean intensity, non? And we want intensity. Hmm, true. In that case, I think these are not heartbreaks. I think I just changed my mind about people and things.

I’m not feeling inspired to write to you right now so I’m keeping this short. In fact, I think I’m letting you go. My dreams, my passion, my forceful love for you need to rest. And if you are truly a reflection of myself, I’d like to stop chasing reflections and tackle the essence like a pro, that is from within. If you are truly a reflection of myself, and not the other way around, I will find you wherever I go, non? Preferably where intensity stirs and the ground stays stable, where I look at a face and I like myself more, where I truly feel free and in love.

I’m letting you go even if I do care with all my heart – ah, that silly thing! My mind is the boss, anyway; when I change my mind, my heart changes. At the moment, my mind is not interested in things that exhaust me. My mind is interested in resting and observing, and in everything true. For truth moves me, for truth brings in itself intensity. What about romance? Well, unless it’s true, I think I’d get more kicks doing my laundry.

londres, le 2eme août 2026

je t’embrasse !

d.o.