(listen to the podcast ici!)

Bonjour Paris,

I woke up rather late this morning, let’s just say it definitely wasn’t six. I came back from the White Bear Theatre, after seeing John Marquez’s brilliant “Three Shots”, to parties on two of my neighbouring boats by ten; cooked delicious keto-friendly supper and sat on deck in the dark after meal to smoke a couple of cigarettes before I went downstairs, meditated and intentionally went to sleep before two.

I feel wonderful somehow, untouched by guilt and pretty chill about launching today’s episode on time. There is this sneaky calm flowing in my body from my heart – no, from the heart of my existence, the source. There is that attitude of certainty again within me. I’ve had it before, though it always feels like the next level and fresh each time it comes back. I’ve had it before, not so long ago, though time is pretty much irrelevant – I meant the physical time; what’s relevant is the perceived distance between one place and the next.

So, how much distance ago, you ask? The thing is when I’m going through that distance it feels long and then, now, it feels like yesterday, just a blink. A long blink – stop it! Before the return of certainty there is a space of nothing where the worries, the anxiety, the overthinking – in other words, the ego – have been quietly dissolved one by one – my ego is multiple, yet the certainty has not arrived, or rather consciously perceived. In Jungian style, I’d call it the being no longer and not yet becoming. The ego, whatever they manifest in – also ‘they’ because I ain’t sure of the gender, feel like a rollercoaster, filled with hot and cold, but fast, though still unbearable. It’s a strive, it’s a struggle. Then arrives the nothingness, where things feel calm and slow, so slow. It’s when I have accepted the ego should be dropped, yet I haven’t figured out who I am without them.

Anyway, anyone notice I have been indiscriminating toward time in that long paragraph? Because we were talking about distance, right? Ha is that my ego talking? Yeah, but they have layers, I’m just allowing them to speak on the outside to stay funny and relevant – just a façade. Hey, aren’t all egos a façade? Oh my days – this part of identity, I swear, whatever they are, are so unbearable, questioning every ego-driven decision, or even joke, I make! Now that I think about it, I’m sure they are just another layer of ego, though, judging by the moral high ground they seem to speak from, we might have caught a glimpse of my superego. Let’s drop them too.

You see how it works? It’s a constant… Ah, I don’t want to call it battle… Process! It’s a constant process dropping the ego, even the superego – the self. They are part of me, they are inseparable, they’re supposed to keep me safe, and moral – wait, moral is just part of safety. I just need to be conscious of them, aware of them and not allow them drive my decisions and actions because it isn’t necessary. They aren’t necessary when I feel safe and secure, certainly not when I feel certainty. How do I feel safe and secure? By remembering that inner trust that everything is always working out for me. What do I do when I don’t remember? I stop and be still. For how long? Uh-uh, time is irrelevant. Only distance, until it is transformed into merely space.

That space is my sky, my freedom, my creativity. It’s in the inner spaciousness certainty lives, from the deep trust that every uncertainty is merely certainty not yet perceived. The certainty that everything is always working out for me. Speaking of certainty and creativity, I’m certainly walking to Tate this afternoon before joining bestie and Rosie on deck to plot our fast-approaching Carcassonne trip over Sauvignon-Semillon!

londres, le 6 septembre 2026

je t’embrasse !

d.o.