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Bonjour Paris,

I’m happy and, like to most people when happy, nothing else matters. That doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just think less and be in the moment more, smiling at everything and everyone I bump into, as usual like someone in love – or crazy.

When I go silent on people, as I sometimes do, sometimes forever – how long is forever? some think it’s because I think I’m better than them, but that can’t be further than the truth. It usually means I no longer wish to participate in brewing negativity in their life with my presence and vice versa. It means the power is still in their hands to do whatever they wish with as I take mine back. It means we’re equal – finally. 

I say ‘finally’ because I don’t try once. I’d give my entire presence openly, constantly. I’d sometimes go out of my way like a clown in my pursuit to make you happy too. The problem is I’d tend to tell the truth – I’m not saying I’d lie the rest of the time, perhaps at times I’d hold it back momentarily looking for ways to soften the blow, and not all my truths are acceptable, or immediately acceptable. I’m happy because I’m fine with that. 

I’m fine with not being understood, with being misunderstood, with being seen in the wrong – finally. If that makes me better than you, so be it. All I know is that it makes me free – finally. It makes me free because I have tried my best by being openly present and constantly truthful. My only regret might be that I tried too hard to align what don’t and don’t want to align. In fact, trying at all should have been the sign to stop. Then again it has finally become a valuable lesson so back to my default no-regrets and I’m happy. 

I’m happy and it isn’t a sulky “I’m happy” that characters throw around in a movie when they can’t get what they want, par exemple. When you flow in the river of life, you don’t cling on to every shiny log in your way for too long – you go around it, you go over it. People aren’t logs – yeah, and the logs aren’t always shiny; let them go regardless. There are people and things that can flow with you longer, perhaps for very long, but the desire to own is what stops you from flowing. Let them flow, at their own rhythm, and may you allow yourself the same.   

What about heartbreaks from letting go? To quote John in Jerome Bixby’s play The Man From Earth, which I saw performed at the White Bear Theatre last night, “I’ve gotten over it”. The man had lived for 14,000 years when he said that, having said goodbyes through countless separations and deaths. I don’t think it’s necessary to wait for 14,000 years to get over heartbreaks, do you? It’s a decision, though you might say it’s easier for me because I have more experience than most. 

Heartbreaks shouldn’t break me. If anything, the many so-called heartbreaks should tell me that love is my natural state. To love so often isn’t being brave – it is only natural; to sit under the heavy clouds and let your heart pour with the rain is. A relationship is a combination of the two. Some relationships are like shiny logs in your way in the river of life – and the logs aren’t always shiny; let them go. Let them flow and you may allow the relationship with yourself the same.

I’m happy, Paris, not only because my daughter is arriving on the barge in a bit, we’re going to see you tomorrow and so many other things in my life. I’m happy because I’m flowing. I’m not waiting for anyone to catch up, I’m not trying to catch up with anyone. 

When our rhythms align, whoever you are, with you I shall flow for as long as our rhythms align. My love is ‘irreduceable’: when I give it, I don’t lose it. My love is constant: when there’s no one around, I shall give it to myself. Is it foolish to trust in love? Absolutely not.

londres, le 23 août 2026

je t’embrasse !

d.o.